tight, hot knots surge up

fear gives way to hopelessness

awaken, hope again.

 

I overcomplicate things by nature 

Learning to simplify 

I let the bare truth create on its own 

The reflection stands, unremarkable to most 

To me, the essence is perfectly bottled. 

 

I turn, bursting to tell you 

I forget for less than a frame 

And then, I smile.

I don’t want out yet 

I like writing all day 

I like sleeping when my body tells me  

I like cooking and baking and savouring my spoils 

I like watering my veg 

I like seeing what my resident squirrel has dug up earlier that morn 

I like being alone with my thoughts 

Pondering as I watch clouds out back 

They reach out whispy fingertips to one another just to dissolve before they touch 

The grass tickles, warm underfoot 

Memories are ghosts that dissolved with the clouds 

I don’t want out yet 

Perhaps, never.

Have you ever woken up?  

To 14 years of playing a role 

Based on your life but not your own 

Fumbling to a pedestal 

Savouring punishment 

Simulating authenticity 

I have woken up 

During dawn my friend 

Trying to recall one second spent with you 

I was anything other than myself.

Good isn’t more than bad. The math isn’t rigged, we are.